Shopping for clothes

Ugh I went to walk around the mall today to work off a big lunch I had and while there I decided to go try on jeans.  Yuck what a mess.  I have always hated clothes shopping, but buying jeans when you are overweight is brutal.  Honestly, I cannot wait for the day when I am down a few sizes where I wont feel so bad about buying myself new clothes, no matter what I'm buying.  Right now I have to shop in those specialty size stores and sometimes the stuff they are selling is pretty normal and not too bad, but mostly the clothes are overpriced and just ugly!  I remember hating when I moved up a size here and there and I dreaded buying clothes when I finally reached size XL, but ohhhhh what I wouldnt give right now to fit into a regular size XL, lol.  I mean I have literally dreamed about walking around in a mall, seeing something in the window and being glad that it came in a size XL.  Isnt that something?  I can remember very well, like it was yesterday thinking that I was sooo miserable to be wearing a size XL.  This brings me to something that I have been giving alot of thought.  GOALS   Are goals helpful or hurtful?  I am still thinking about it.

I'm back

Wow, cant believe how long its been since I've been here but not as bad as it could've been, I guess.  My whole point this week was to get back here no matter what.  Even if it was just to log in and I guess tonight was the night I built up enough nerve.  I vowed a few months ago NOT TO GIVE UP and I am trying very very hard not to throw in the towel and give up. I just cant.  I feel like my life depends on it.  Let me recap the past few months that I have been missing.  The bottom line is I have been wayyy off program and like so many times before, I cant understand why.  Yes, there have been many things, many stresses in my life but I still cant understand why or what that has to do with me staying or falling off program.  It is sooo confusing and mind boggling.  I think the biggest thing that I have learned from all of these successes and many failures, is that in order to be successful and stay successful is not to stray too far and never ever give up.  I have heard this many many times from my WW meetings.  This past week I heard some really great inspiring stories and for me the same message came over loud and clear, no matter what a difficult time you are going through, dont stop going to your meetings and dont give up. I think it was kind of ironic that this was the message I got from that last meeting because I was seriously dreading walking in there knowing that it had been weeks since I had been there.  Its weird because I cant help but feel that I am going to be judged somehow or that someone is gonna talk about me, but I came to realize, there is no judgement from anyone there but me!  Those people are going through the same struggles as I am and maybe not at this moment, but they have all been there.  So with that comfort finally realized and accepted, I have vowed once again, to get my behind in gear and NOT GIVE UP!